I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
