craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
