What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
