physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
