She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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