she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
