That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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