Me too!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize