I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
