If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
