I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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