ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
