We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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