so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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