D3 body, D1 cock
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
