I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
