everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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