My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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