I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
