So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
