I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
