Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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