You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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