rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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