we have pet lesbian snakes
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it because I queefed?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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