Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
