Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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