then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
