Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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