OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
