So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
