remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
