I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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