Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
