Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
