Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
