My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
