We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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