found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
