i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
