Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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