I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
