THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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