the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
