your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
