Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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