My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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