Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
