Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm passing your future prison.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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