smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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