i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
