Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
