The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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