there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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