we made out on top of his cat.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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