Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
