Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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